Pasaway…

This will be my first time to write in a different mood.
I mean, in a lighter one. I did most of my entries when I feel hopeless,
depressed and alone. But this time, I am writing to celebrate this happiness I
couldn’t explain. This happiness I couldn’t ask for more.

We met in a different way. I considered you as my Enemy #
1 but you chose to look at me as a confused lamb, which walks in a wrong,
distorted and crooked path. We both laugh every time we remember this irony.
And until now, I can’t believe that you’re still here, understanding and
believing that I am really a good seed. Or should I say, you’re just too good
to be one.

I send you the copy of my previous blog entry. Those we’re
the times when I think of you as an asshole, an enemy, isang tae na di ko maalis sa pang-amoy ko. My intention of sending
you the blog was to for you to know how I am really hurt. For you to feel the wounds
that enveloped my heart. But after some time of loneliness and single-handedly,
there you came…(verbatim)

 “No im not doing to save my face, chris. I jst felt as
well that ths s d ryt thng to do.

I hav kept my silence and it did me no gud. Napasama p
2loy lalo ako syo.

Thanx 4 undrstandng tho.

I knw dat d ryt one wil com our way one day, and wen dat tym
comes well be happy 4 d broken roads we hav walkd on.

Iv never met u but deep down I fill u r a good one…

U dserve to b truly loved.”

After a moment or two, we started to communicate with
each other. But the initial motive was to help me do well with my past. I
refuse at first and decided not to make up with you since it was still new to
me. We just allow each other to heal on our own.

Now here we are, unconsciously exerting a pull on each
other. I started to care for you and I don’t want you to revert from where you
are before. I find you too kind that’s why I won’t let you be hurt by anyone.
More than anything else, I am starting to fall for you.  I am in deep hurt every time he ‘makes fool of
you’. Moreover, I am starting to find the need of you, my strength and courage
for the broken roads that I’ve walked on. I never imagined myself being this
close with you now. And I thank God for letting me know you better. Poles apart
from what I used to know about you.

As what I usually hear from the lines of the song:

 And these are the
moments
             I thank God that
I’m alive
            And these are
the moments
            I’ll remember
all my life
            I’ve got all I’ve
waited for
            And I could not
ask for more 

I could not ask
for more than this love together
            I could not ask
for more than this love with you
            And every prayer
has been answered
            And every dream I
had come true
            You’re right
here in this moment
            Is right here
where I’m meant to be
            Here with you,
            Here with me…

 I won’t leave
this battle with you. As what I have promised to you, I want to be the one to
care for you. Just as the need of me to be cared by someone as lovely and kind
as you. And if that happens, I can straightforwardly say that I couldn’t ask
for more…

 I badly miss you…